How To Be An Internet Rapper Part I

As a DJ and producer with much history in the hip hop scene, I get a lot of requests on myspace, emails, and other various contacts on the internet from aspiring rappers.  While occasionally one might actually be half-way decent or interesting, the vast majority seem to follow the same basic patterns.  After one too many of these types of interactions, I’ve decided anyone can be an internet rapper, and furthermore, here are some basic rules to get you started on your career to internet, and eventually, real-world rap super stardom.

This series will be in installments, so stay tuned for more profession-enhancing posts!

I. Do Not Buy A Camera

So, you’ve just opened up your Myspace.com account and want start showing the world what a lavish, raptastic lifestyle you are living.  While you may think that getting a professional photoshoot would show that you are serious about your career, that would be incorrect.  Photoshoots can mean stylists or make-up, which could hurt your street cred, and require monetary investment, also unacceptable.  No, the best way to represent yourself is to find the crappiest camera phone available and take pictures of yourself in the mirror.  These pictures are best done with your shirt off, after all, you’re becoming an internet sex symbol, not just a rapper.

Incorrect:

Wrong

Correct:

Gangsta!

A bonus tip, not included in this example, is to flash gang signs you may have seen somewhere.

Also be sure to use your best “Mean Mug”, if you are unsure how to achieve optimum Mug status, there will be a later post on making silly faces.

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